Star Wars The Bunny Strikes Back
by Kyia-Kenobi
Summary: Little Bunny Foo Foo's adventures in the star wars universe continue, and its getting even tougher to be Princess Leia's rabbit (Sequel to Star Wars - A New Rabbit )
1. Legal Stuff

Hurrah! The next part of the Bunny Foo Foo Saga has begun. Would advise you to read Star Wars- A New Rabbit although its not essential, there's a few continuing jokes names etc blah blah.  
  
I don't own any of the star wars, subway or any other muti-million franchises that I happen to mention, however I do own bunny foo foo, my white lop eared rabbit, so ask before you borrow her! 


	2. Scrollie Bit

A long time ago in a hutch far far away,  
  
Star Wars  
  
Episode V- The Bunny Strikes Back.  
  
It is a dark time for Little Bunny Foo Foo. Although she destroyed the Death Star, neither her or Chewbacca have received a sniff of a medal and Imperial troops are still pursuing them across the galaxy, all in all a lousy week.  
Evading the dreaded back lash from wiping out so many subway franchises in one go a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker has established a new, not so secret base on the remote frickin freezing world of Hoth.  
The evil lord Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Foo Foo, has dispatched thousands of desperately seeking Bunny adverts into the far reaches of the newsstands.   
  
LBFF. 


	3. Of Lamas and Speeders

Star Date, couple of weeks later  
  
Food Bowl status, needs defrosting.  
  
Am v.v.v.v.v cold, did I mention how NOT a good idea it was to set up a base on the world's greatest supplier of lama milk and wool. Go figure, stupid rebels. Just because they are too cheap to use a car, although they seem to have no problem in providing Leia with endless amounts of hairspray and eyeliner which she then turns on me. Least her new hairstyle is easier on my ears as the buns that she kept putting them in were making them raw. Now she's given me a hair extension plait that is sellotaped to my head. Stupid princess.  
  
Ooooh check out Leia eying up Random Pirate Guy in the control room, skanky hoe. Don't think he's worked out why all the male humans keep making "we haven't adapted the speeders to the cold" jokes around her. The difference bunny super hearing makes, when she's out of ear shot I can still hear them calling her the rebellion speeder, because she's always got a orange smudge under her, those pilots really should change the colour of their flight suits.  
  
Did I mention I was FRICKIN FREEZING?  
  
Short Whiny guy has gotten himself lost again, probably hallucinating as he always does when he's so scared that he wets his pants, Random pirate guy's had to go get him on his lama, Leia's going all swoony again, hope its for RPG and not the lama. 


	4. Leia such a hoe

Star Date, getting bored of this bit, can't you tell?  
  
Food Bowl Status, fudgiscle flavour hmmmmm  
  
Wow didn't know the rebellion was THAT scared of spiders, I mean, I know they are creep and all, (I have one in my hutch the size of a baby hutt) but to evacuate the whole planet because Random Pirate Guy shot one when he was out rescuing Short Whiny Guy. Speaking of SWG I think he's trying to pull one of those 'I'm going escape from this straight jacket whilst under water and blowing bubbles through my nose in tune to I'm dreaming of a white Christmas' thingies. Last count he'd been in that big glass tank three days. Think he's trying to emulate the masked magician disappearing act Big Black Guy and Random OAP did back on the Death Star. Am quite worried about SWG, his dementia is getting to a very insane level, the other day I caught him pointing his hand at a random female mechanic's jumpsuit shouting 'Go Web' very strange. No wonder he never gets a date.  
  
  
  
Star Date, A few minutes later.  
  
Food Bowl Status, Nauseous  
  
SWG out of big glass tank. Leia such a skanky hoe. 


	5. Never eat yellow snow

Star Date, movin' day.  
  
Food Bowl Status, packed.  
  
Got the feeling letting whiny short guy answer that desperately seeking bunny ad was a bad idea as a bunch of random white guys have descended on the place. You'd think that the rebel's would set up camp on a place where the bad guys didn't blend in as well, and we didn't stand out like big traffic cones. Big Hairy Guy peed up against one thinking it was a wall, brings a whole new meaning to the phrase never eat yellow snow. Should advise alliance to hide out on a giant orange.  
  
Once again am running round under Leia's arm while random white guys shoot the wall. Why does this seem all too familiar, oh well, least I'm not stuck in a cockpit with SWG.  
  
Walls keep caving in, shoddy rebellion workmanship.   
  
RPG is dragging us on his ship, luckily there's enough time for a quick shower, a bite to eat and an episode of "The Young and The Restless" whilst the random white guys put together a gun out of a Star Wars Lego Technic kit. Good thing we just have to push a button, stupid imperials. Between them and the rebels no wonder this war has gone on for so long.  
  
Oh look there's Big Black Guy. Still haven't forgiven him for trying to shoot me down at Yavin, although I can see the reasoning behind killing SWG, personally I'm not about to sacrifice my life for the good of the galaxy.  
  
Star Date, lost in space (echoey bunny voice)  
  
Food Bowl Status, the Millennium Falcon's upholstery.  
  
  
  
Sorry about the length of time between updates, unfortunatly my new house doesn't have interent yet so I have to walk all the way to the library to get near a comp, and well I'm lazy. Anyway, here's some more bunny foo foo 


	6. Always Coca Cola

Star Date, lost in space (echoey bunny voice)  
  
Food Bowl Status, the Millennium Falcon's upholstery.  
  
Once again stuck on the Falcon, have managed to escape to the cockpit because I think that the big furry guy is visualising my backside as a stew again. So here I go chewing a hole in the seat lining, using the renowned technique of concentrating on one spot. Am past the bit that looks like multicoloured sponge cake. You know if I squint the hole looks like General Nadine bending over.   
  
Com traffic says that SWG has gotten lost again, you know they really should replace the drink vending machine on his x wing with a real astromech. The joke really has gone too far. But only SWG is stupid enough to think that the cans of Lilt that keep dropping in his lap has co-ordinates to the rendezvous, mind you with all the E numbers on the ingredients who can tell. I heard that last time they had to fish him out of a swampy mud-hole all thanks to a chilled can of Diet Coke.  
  
Oh asteroids. The fun. 


	7. Bunny FF Lunchables

Star Date, stupid stupid stupid humans  
  
Food Bowl Status, stupid stupid stupid humans.  
  
Did I mention that I am surrounded by idiots? Well yeah, but this time it takes the pale. Honestly I despair! So here I am working on my patch trying to turn Nadine-bending-over shaped hole into Hutt shaped hole (no small feat) and RPG guy has taken us for an amble into asteroid field. Once again water bowl has fallen on head and I'm getting the feeling that I really haven't progressed two hops from the beginning of the saga, then I hear RPG say:  
  
"I'm gonna get in closer to one of the big ones"  
  
"Closer!" Yeah Leia for once we agree. Whilst I'm musing over the scariness of the fact that something useful has come out of her mouth things get worse and I get so nervous that I pee all over the big hairy guy. Don't think he is particularly happy about it as he is busily turning the oven up to gas mark six, but being pie is the least of my worries for once. You see RPG has decided to set us down, but the humans all miss the big belch the 'cave' lets out as we fly in. Does nobody else smell that??????????? By the great bunny gods someone needs some toothpaste chews or a vet or something cos whatever we've flown into has major halitosis.   
  
Stupid stupid humans. My worst fear was ending up as pie, instead I'm a snack for earth worm jim. Things can't get any worse.  
  
What's that? The ship's broken and Leia's consoling herself by getting out the eyeliner and moving towards me with a grin on her face. I hate you all.  
  
Sorry bout the length of time between updates blah blah blah, but bunny foo foo hasn't been too well so she's been curled up with a carrot and a cup of lemsip, think stardom may be taking it's toll on her. Anyway she's a bit better now so she is trying not to disapoint her fans and continue her adventures. 


	8. What's a Wormdoo?

Star Date, humans still very stupid  
  
Food Bowl Status, the falcon is the food bowl.  
  
Suddenly have sympathy for the sesame seeds, hope wormy thing thinks I'm one of those icky corny wheaty bits at the bottom that I always scatter around the cage and spits me out.   
  
Humans still haven't noticed.   
  
Leia got bored with the whole 'lets attack the bunny with hairspray and eyeliner' routine quicker than usual. She's got more of a crafty grin than normal and she's wearing her top with the least blaster burns on it, think she's on the pull.  
  
Wonder how long it'll take the worm's stomach to eat through the hull and start on me?  
  
Leia such a skanky hoe. RPG so gullible, am pondering learning Basic just so I can tell him how many times she's used the old 'the valve is too stiff' routine, on second thoughts learning Basic would be good to tell them that WE'RE IN A FRICKIN' WORM!!!!!!!!!!!.   
  
Huh? Why has Leia stormed off? Think she's mad that the big golden Buddha interrupted before she could use the wormdoo line. (Writer apologises for the red dwarf ref and admits that in fact she doesn't own that either doh!). Oh RPG you don't know what a lucky escape you've had, been digested for eternity seems nothing in comparison to what she has planned.  
  
Still haven't figured out what that smell is, stupid stupid humans, I bet they're blaming me. Oh great another strange alien noise, wonder what wants to eat us now? 


	9. OMG they've killed buddha

Star Date, closer to sanity then we were five minutes ago.  
  
Food Bowl Status, outside it rather than in it. Go me.  
  
Yes good old RPG finally cottoned on. Turns out after a lot of Leia hiding, pretending to be helpless behind the poor bloke the another strange alien noise were in fact George Lucas throwing bits of tea stained blanket and against the side of the ship (man, this worm gets around), anyway after RPG had a word with him and shot the wall pointlessly a few times to convince Leia he was battling something equally random he noticed the wall did in fact move, and bleed and have tonsils. So after soiling his best trousers (damn bunny super nose power) he decided that the star destroyer looked prettier. Another big belch and we're home free, well almost.  
  
Soz bout the lengthy time between updates but well, bunny foo foo has discovered like any true superstar sex drugs and rock and roll, think the fame is going to her head. The amount of pubs I've dragged her out of these few months....its getting embarrasing. 


	10. We are so screwed

Star Date, not dead yet  
  
Food Bowl Status, back on the upholstery again  
  
Bang bang bang another space battle, water bowl has fallen on head again, as has golden Buddha. Stupid Hindus, couldn't worship a hamster or something else soft or carrot like. Leia and RPG seem too preoccupied with not being turned into pie to bother to get him off, oh now they're waving at the nice men in grey on that big ship…as we charge them, that's nice, I guess. I hate everybody, yes even you BBG and especially you SWG.   
  
So what's the big plan, anybody…oh pretend to be rubbish, that's a new one. OH COME ON GUYS even random OAP came up with better stuff than that! And they've killed Buddha to top it off, okay it's easier to get him off me now he isn't moving but we'll never reach bunny nirvana enlightenment now. I'm going to be picking my karma out of the woodchip for the rest of the trilogy.  
  
Oh okay, he's not dead, and the plan's worked, kinda. Buddha be praised, Halleluiah, he has arisen. 


End file.
